Let’s face it: the Angels and Tim Lincecum are tied at the hip

Tim_Lincecum_2009

Former Angels manager Gene Mauch used to call his home in Palm Springs “God’s waiting room,” the place retired people go before they die.

The Angels, in the same sense, could be called the “God’s waiting room” of baseball, the place were aging players have historically gone to cash a last check on their way out of the big leagues.

I’ve always maintain that an alien dropped down from outer space, if handed the all-time rosters of major leagues clubs, would conclude the Angels were the greatest franchise in history of human kind.

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This just in: February still stinks

febAll Chino Hills precincts have reported making it official: February has once again finished 12th on Rankman’s annual ranking of months.

Order of merit:

  1. April (Masters\Rankman’s birthday\Hitler offed self)
  2. June (also Alice Cooper’s favorite month because, you know, school’s out)
  3. July (trashy novels at beach while sipping umbrella drinks under an  umbrella)
  4. May (merry month and, unlike February, easy to say and spell)
  5. March (NCAA Tournament, favorite month for dimes)
  6. November (college football rivalries trump Kennedy assassination)
  7. January (naive hope of better times to come)
  8. December (Boxing Day, college bowl picks, Charlie Brown Christmas Special)
  9. August (too many nightmares involving Pop Warner practice, Hiroshima and Manson Family)
  10. October (um, Columbus didn’t discover America)
  11. September (back to school…February’s bastard child)
  12. February (shortest\longest month)

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This Old Timer Is Starting to Sound Like A Broken Record

A_young_Jerry_WestDisingenuous congratulations to the Carolina Panthers and Golden State Warriors for their fabulous so-far seasons.

No, seriously, some of us wished you nothing but the worst.

The guy who said records were meant to be broken would have been in a headlock sitting next to me Dec. 11 as I put historical rancor aside to root for Boston to chuck the Warriors off the Golden State bridge.

It took a lot for a born-and-bred Lakers fan to root for the Soylent Green, but sometimes in life you have no choice.

(Spoiler alert: never count on Boston for anything except decent fish soup)
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